Friday, 11 November 2016

15 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a weird journey. I knew at the end of it a watermelon has to come out one way or another but the actual growing bit contained so much more than I bargained for and there's just SO much people don't actually bother to tell you UNTIL your pregnant, so I'm here to let you know just what you've let yourself in for....

I honestly thought pregnancy meant peeing on a stick, a few scans and HELLO BABY!
Well didn't I just get the shock of my life....

Midwife Appointments
Oh you'll see your midwife so often she basically becomes a member of your extended family. At first she's all like well, you've got yaself knocked up so I'll let you sweat/get excited/cry and see you in 12 weeks. As D day gets ever closer you'll see her every two weeks, including home visits.
Not only do you have to answer all sorts of health and personal questions but she'll also ask you for a pee sample every time you see her (it never stops getting weird), she'll measure your belly a lot and you'll have to discuss and plan just how you want your wombfruit to arrive in the world.

Blood Tests
Now, I knew there were a few blood tests I won't lie; BUT HOLY COW. 
I've never been fab with needles but as soon as that first midwife tried to get blood out of me I passed out. I've had needles shoved in me so often it doesn't actually bother me any more. Honestly, by the end of pregnancy any phobia of needles you have will have disappeared.

Glucose Test
Not everyone has to have this done. Consider yourself lucky if you don't!! Basically if your BMI is over a certain level or your midwife feels you need it done you get sent to the hospital, heavily pregnant (around 28/30 weeks usually) after starving for 12 hours, get jabbed with a needle for blood, drink what I can only describe as a greasy Lemsip and then sit there for two hours. 
Your not allowed to go for a walk, your not allowed to do anything but pee and sit there, starving hungry in a room full of other pregnant hungry women. Then after two hours you get called back for more bloods to be taken! I actually ran down the corridor to get my second lot of bloods done because I was so hungry I didn't care what happened.

Aches and Pains
I haven't even got a big baby bump but the aches and pains are real. I wake up in the middle of the night with my ribs cramping cause he's decided they look comfy. I can't walk for very long before my hips and legs start to ache or I get backache. 
Nothing can truly prepare you for a good boot in the ribs or the downward pressure, down there when they are sitting low down. Oh and you haven't lived until you get woken up in the middle of the night by a swift boot to a full bladder.... trust me on that one.

You hear and read so much about vomiting and morning sickness that you kinda prepare yourself for it but it's not always the case.
I got a hunger that couldn't be cured. I can eat and eat and eat until the cupboards are empty and still be hungry then other times I can't manage half a sandwich. At about 6 weeks pregnant all the way up until now (34 weeks) I have been constantly hungry and been craving bizarre food I wouldn't normally touch. I do get queasy mind, raw chicken will have me gagging over the kitchen bin which is always a nice way to start preparing dinner.

Ya know you complain just how tired you are? Yeah, wait until your pregnant. Not a fan of mid afternoon naps? You will be.
Turns out growing a human is pretty hard work and sleep is always welcome, I think nothing of napping for 2 hours during the day, complaining about how tired I am and sleeping a full 8 hours at night. Oh I can also manage a cheeky morning nap sometimes too!

Other Pregnant Women
If your in a room and there's another pregnant woman you will find each other and speak. It's like some weird pregnancy radar, you'll discuss everything from how much you hurt to your due dates. You'll also find those new mums who have to share their horror story of a birth with a room full of first time expectant mothers, they are always fun....

Parenting Advice
Seriously, it never bloody ends. Everyone you meet will have a bit of advice for you, even if they gave birth 80 years ago 'cause their kids turned out okay. From the best brand of nappies to sleeping tips you'll hear it all, over and over again.

Once you hit around 28 weeks if you sneeze, you'll probably pee yourself a little bit and every time it happens a little bit of your soul dies.

Baby Hiccups
The baby gets hiccups in your belly and it is the weirdest feeling in the world. Your belly moves in that hiccup rhythm and there's nothing you can do to stop it!

Ultrasound Scans
 Not only do you have to wait in the hospital with a full bladder but they'll also prod and poke you until you almost pee yourself, you've been warned.
You see them all over social media, those cute little scan pictures of a little tiny baby. This doesn't mean it'll happen for you. In fact I've had to go for more scans than anyone I know because he simply doesn't want to be scanned and decided to spend most of his time standing on his head, making measurements virtually impossible!

Third Trimester
It isn't a 3 months, it's 3000 blood years. It feels like it's never going to end, seriously. 

Pregnancy Glow
I'm calling bullshit, sorry. It's either because I'm sweating from walking up the stairs or I'm having a hot flush doing nothing. 

Maternity clothing
There is nothing more demoralising that having to fork out a fortune on clothes with extra elastic panels that come up to your boobs. Even if you fork out for those designer ones, you'll still feel like a fat troll.

Underwire bras
Buh-bye, gimme those wire free ones. You'll spend most of your time pulling it away from yourself as it digs in and gives you those lovely red marks.
 Just a heads up that the Marks & Spencer ones made for post surgery are awesome and only £20.

But at the end of it all, I can't wait to meet my little man. Even though as I write this he's so far into my ribs I feel like I can't breathe!

Until next time,



  1. Oh my god. This post has me questioning why on earth I even want to go through pregnancy?! Haha. I know why; it's all worth it at the end. But the 9 month journey does not sound like a barrel of laughs...! Thanks for sharing. Most of these points are things I've never been told about pregnancy before, so I feel like my eyes have been opened now! Haha. x x

  2. I loved reading this, I never even thought about wire bras being a no no, that you needed blood tests or about the hiccups. Thanks for opening my eyes haha. Advice will be welcomed but I can imagine when I hear the same things/stories again and again and again I'll get weary haha. Not even pregnant yet or even trying, but find myself sometimes thinking about it :) good luck with the rest of your journey 💙Xxxx


Blogger templates by pipdig