Remember back in high school, the dramas? The cliques? The who said what? Well it turns out baby groups revert all adult females back into bitchy teenagers. Which is why I'm taking a total stand and talking quiet openly about my horrendous and lovely baby group experiences.
Have you ever walked into a room and had everyone stare at you? If it didn't happen at school, no worries it'll happen at baby group! My first ever baby group took me 7 weeks to work up the courage to go to and I can't lie, I had a fab time. I met another mum with a baby a few weeks older than mine and we hit it off really well. I walked into the room, sat down and we just started chatting, I was included immediately into the group and made to feel welcome. Maybe it was my utterly terrified face or maybe it was just a good day!
About a week ago, I walked into a baby group now my tiny human wants to look at stuff and definitely wants to put it all in his mouth and my experience was a vast opposite. I was completely and utterly ignored from the start.
I sat down on a smaller mat as the large one was already full of babies and mums with another mum and her little girl. I said hello and tried to make conversation but alas, she didn't really want to know. Fair enough, I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Fast forward about 5 mins, she just gets up and leaves to go join the other mums where she chats away happily. Fantastic. Que me sitting like a right twat on my own in the corner.
I tried to make eye contact with a few of the other mums but they either clocked me and gave me a fake smile or completely ignored me. I then had a mum ask if I was going to use the chair next to me. Fantastic I thought I might be able to get chatting to some of them!
I politely said I wasn't and moved so she could get the chair. She picked up the chair, turned it round so the back was facing me and sat back down. She actually put her back to me. How fucking rude.
Thankfully my tiny guy was due a nap and passed out a few minutes later, so at this point I made a head for the door and left. I don't think anyone even noticed me leave!
Now, I'm not the only one who's ever experienced this. How do I know? I made a local Facebook group for mums who want to have some adult conversation and not feel under pressure to need child care. We meet up regularly for coffee, picnics and hopefully some adventures during the summer. There's no bitchiness, we are there for our children and our own sanity. Yes, outside of this group maybe we wouldn't all get along but we all pull up our big girl pants and deal with it. At the end of the day it's nice to spend time outside of the house with other adults and we all appreciate this.
So here's my point; if you ever go to a baby group and see someone sitting on their own. Make a fucking effort. It isn't going to kill you and your all there for the same fucking reason - our kids. You don't have to become bestest bum chums and go for girls night once a month, just show a bit of compassion for someone who has probably had to build the courage up to come.
I make it a point when I'm in a group to include those who don't look too sure or don't know anyone else. Where's the harm?
One last gripe; please don't treat baby play groups as a chance to not look after your child. I really don't need your rather large drooly child crawling across my babies head. Nor do I need to try and look after your kid while I'm trying to entertain my own. It isn't a fucking free for all, you do still need to watch your baby. Thanks.
Until next time,